Ridiculous things that have happened to me in the last few weeks:

- Tripping over a bike tire in the garage then flying into a cement step…drink in hand. Knees hit the edge of the step, hip and elbow on cement, 4 sweet bruises, spilled my drink everywhere. I can’t believe I didn’t break my glass.

- Jumping off a 40 foot cliff into the lake which threw out my back and bruised my tailbone because I landed wrong.

- I dropped my iPhone in the toilet on the 3rd day I had it. Post piss, pre flush. Ugh. Fished it out then ran it under the sink (bad move?). I guess there was a reason I didn’t have one.

- Getting up, showered, and dressed for work then sitting in a chair the cat pissed on only minutes before. The worst part was not realizing it until I sat up 10 minutes later.

- A two hour drive to go ride in Chuluota…partially because of 5o’clock traffic and a bad route, and the other part because I don’t know my left from right.

- And then getting stuck in Chuluota because my roommates dipped without saying a word and my car keys where in their truck…but I didn’t know that so I searched for 45 mins.

- I accidentally hit my friend in the face who already had two black eyes, a broken nose, and 6 stitches. He bled from his stitches.

I know there is more…I’m a wreck. Not in a bad way, but in the I can walk without tripping over my own feet kind of way.