Problem Solving 101 (aka 10 reasons not to buy a Jetta)

Headlights dead? Use your brights.

Coolant leak? Refill with water/coolant every 3 days or so as necessary.

Broken driver window? Tape it up and use sunroof for drive-thru’s. They will look at you like you are crazy, they don’t understand the problem.

Bumper fell off? Zip tie it back on. Colorful zip ties are more fun.

Pieces falling out from under your hood? Put them in the trunk in case you need them later. You’d be surprised how much they charge for a small piece of plastic. If you have any dangly ones, drive careful off-road.

Trunk won’t open with the button? Fold the seats down to put things in the trunk. Maybe 6 months later you should try the keyhole in the trunk…that works too if you have the special touch.

Seat won’t stay in place after adjustment? Get out of the car, and get back in. If that doesn’t work try again but wait longer, and maybe throw a few kicks in the side of the car. Whatever you do, don’t drive with a loose seat. You will start to break and go flying forward, slamming onto the breaks and leaving nice tire marks in the pavement.

Lever to open hood broke off the car? Create a metal hook and fish around until you manage to hook the hood popper…this may take a while, be patient. Once opened, jimmy rig the lever back on with a piece of wire.

All of the warning lights in the dash on? The more the merrier. Keep driving until the car smokes or you hear weird noises. I’ve been driving like that for months now. Except the gas light…don’t ignore that one for too long.

Sun roof won’t close? It almost closes then opens again? Turn car off. Try again, fingers crossed. Never open sun roof again.